Are You A Self-Violator?

From Debbie Ford : Copyright 2010, Debbie Ford. All rights reserved. P.O. Box 8064 San Diego, CA 92038 (800) 780-9198


This weekend, as I'm leading The Shadow Process, I can't help but be present to how mean we are to our most precious selves. My heart aches thinking about the years, months, weeks, days, hours, and minutes that we spend thinking negative thoughts, dwelling on painful experiences and repeating old patterns. If we truly are going for a better life -- more love, more peace, more fun, more intimacy, more success, more money, more anything good -- then we must unconceal what prevents us from feeling worthy of receiving the gifts that we all deserve. So today is the day when you can begin to admit the truth that you might be the culprit who is keeping yourself from having it all.

Take this test:


Do you say more than five negative things to yourself each day?


Do you think negative thoughts about your life, your body, your talent or your future? (Tell the truth!) 


Are there regrets from more than a month ago stored in your body?


Are you carrying a resentment toward someone from your past who has hurt, betrayed or caused you pain in some way?


Do you keep your mouth shut when you want to speak up?


Do you say "Yes" when you mean "No" more than twice a week?


Do you eat foods that make you feel bad or have you wishing you had made a better choice?


Have you been working on a goal for more than a year with no plan, no support structure or no confidence that you can really fulfill it?


Do you spend more time dwelling in the past than living in the present?


Do you constantly wish for something that you don't have?


If you answered yes to three or more of these questions, I'd like you to consider that you are participating in self-violation -- crimes against yourself -- mean, cruel, hurtful and dishonoring acts which cause you to shrink in the face of greatness and rob you of living a life you love.


As a self-violator, you are the one who continues the self-abuse. You are the one who hurts yourself with your thoughts, your words, your actions or your non-actions. And you are the ONLY one who can take responsibility, take back your power and change self-violation to self-love, self-care self-respect, self-dignity and self-success.


Transformational Action Step


This weekend, while most of you will not be with me at The Shadow Process, you can begin your own by writing out a list of all the ways you violate yourself. Then make the commitment to begin the process of transforming self-cruelty into self-love. Next week we will continue this journey with what you can do to bring more love to that which you loathe.

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